Announcing 55th event - "How to Meet Your and Your Children's Emotional Needs?"

Dear Clubbers and Friends,

Here is March meeting announcement.
[Please note that we will not have children performance in March event due to the schedule.]

Topic: "How to Meet Your and Your Children's Emotional Needs?"
DATE: 3/9/2008 Sunday
TIME: 1:45 to 3:15 PM
PLACE: HuaXia Edison Chinese School Cafeteria area, 50 Blvd of Eagles, Edison, NJ 08817

This is the 55th event for PCE Club. The CLUB is honored to invite Dr. Sherry Liu from UMDNJ-New Jersey Medical School to talk to us on "How to Meet Your and Your Children's Emotional Needs?" We live in such a busy society. We rush through almost everything. Our emotional needs are often get neglected until it is too late. Dr. Liu will focus on family relationship and support. She will provide further information on how to prevent it, where to get help and how to get help. Dr. Liu is one of the specialists that answer the questions posted in CAMHOP-NJ Mail Box. Here is a link in Chinese:http://www.naminj.org/programs/camhop/NAMINJ_ChineseMaterial.pdf. We would like you to join us in this event and raise the awareness of the importance of the mental health for both parents and children. Dr. Sherry Liu is affiliated with CAMHOP-NJ. Here is the website: http://www.naminj.org/programs/camhop/camhop.html.

Thanks to HuaXia Edison Chinese School PTA Chair An Liping to make this event possible. For more information please contact me at 732-687-6921. To learn more about PCE Club, please feel free to sign up for the free emailing list at http://us.f506.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=joinpceclub%40pceclub.org. Or visit us at our website http://www.pceclub.org/ or http://groups.yahoo.com/group/pce_club/.

Dennis Wu
On behalf of the PCE Club Organizers

“多一些理解 少一些抱怨”

記父母子女教育俱樂部54th活動

　　“真不知這些孩子們在想什麼﹖”“我們千辛萬苦來到美國不就是為了你們嗎﹖”“和孩子們溝通怎麼就這麼困難﹖”平時﹐華人父母聚在一起﹐談論最多的就是孩子﹐抱怨最多的也是孩子﹐上面這些話其實就是不經意間父母們的一些抱怨和感嘆﹗多想聽聽孩子們的心裡話﹐其實對一些父母來說真的是一個奢望。為了讓大家能聽聽孩子們的心聲﹐2月16日晚﹐父母子女教育俱樂部特別舉辦了主題為“青少年在想什麼？”的魚缸式論壇活動﹐吸引了不少華裔家長們前來聆聽。

　　當天的論壇活動由英華日校負責人趙仲宜老師主持﹐參加論壇的孩子們從7年級到11年級不等﹐他們分別是﹕Wendy Wang、Jennifer Wang、Robin、Helen Xue、Vicki Shen、Joseph Wang、Tom Wang、Hanjing Cao、Paul Shi﹐在家長們一個一個的問題下﹐孩子們坦誠地說出了自己的心裡話。有家長問﹕“你們每天放學回家最希望我們問什麼﹖”孩子們各式各樣的回答令在做的家長們開懷大笑﹐但是其中心卻是驚人的相似﹐那就是不要千篇一律地問我們“今天學校怎麼樣﹖”其實這是一個很抽象很難回答的問題﹐如果要我們回答﹐也就是兩個字﹕“不錯﹗”這樣的問答往往就很難再繼續下去了。有的孩子們放學回到家﹐希望能好好睡一覺﹐而不是父母跟在後面追問個不停﹐有的希望媽媽能夠端上一些可口的點心﹐讓自己的能量得到補充﹐也有的希望父母能夠問一些特定的問題﹐比如問一些孩子朋友的情況﹐或今天發生了什麼大事。孩子們還特別提出﹐其實最好的聊天時間是在吃晚飯的時候﹐而不是在放學後。

　　對於成長在美國的孩子們﹐他們地道流利的語言和不同於父母的思維方式﹐往往讓父母覺得自己在孩子同學面前或是老師面前有點自慚形穢﹐對於家長的這種想法﹐孩子們是怎麼想的﹐會不會因為父母語言不夠好而讓孩子們也感到不安呢﹖其實不是這樣﹐所有參加論壇的孩子們都寬容了父母語言方面的障礙﹐他們認為父母的語言並不會讓他們感到窘迫﹐相反﹐孩子們認為﹕爸爸媽媽﹐不要過於要求改變你們自己﹐你們就是你們。但是也有孩子提出﹐希望父母還是能夠注意一些小節的事情﹐比如說穿衣服﹐就不要顯得太邋遢﹐講話時也不要太大聲﹐尤其是在公共場合﹐免得引起別人對你側目。

　　眾所週知﹐亞裔父母尤其是中國父母﹐向來追求完美﹐要求自己的孩子門門功課都要得Ａ﹐樣樣事情都要拔尖﹐不能接受失敗﹐孩子們是怎麼想的呢﹖不少孩子認為﹐父母是不能接受失敗的﹐這樣導致了他們也不能接受失敗﹐偶爾失敗﹐就會覺得欠了父母一些什麼﹔相反﹐美國人就不是這樣處理問題﹐他們讓孩子們在失敗中學到經驗﹐幫助他們走出失敗。通常一些能夠接受失敗的父母的做法是告訴孩子﹕沒關係﹐下次做好點就行了﹐這看來似乎是一個明智的父母﹐然而孩子們並不領情﹐他們需要的是﹕爸爸媽媽﹐幫助我們找找失敗的原因﹐多給我們一些安慰﹐幫助我們走過這個困難的時候。

　　作為第一代移民來到美國的華裔家長﹐面對一個迥然不同於自己生長環境的國家﹐迫使自己儘快地去適應﹐給予自己很多的壓力﹐同時也把這些壓力有形無形地加在了孩子們的身上﹐有時我們會說﹕“我們到美國來就是為了你們﹐你們不好好學習﹐對得起我們嗎﹖”可是我們是否想過孩子們的感受﹐11年級學生TOM說﹐不要再把這麼重的壓力放在我們的頭上了﹐我們真的承受不起﹐不知該如何面對父母。也有的孩子指出﹐在為孩子減壓方面﹐中國的父母往往是做得非常不夠的﹐看看他們身邊美國的父母是怎麼做的﹐當孩子有失意或遭到挫折﹐壓力過大時﹐這些父母給孩子儘量減壓﹐帶他們出去購物﹐或看場電影﹐以疏緩壓力﹐可是中國的父母似乎不會這麼做。還有的孩子指出﹐中國的父母最喜歡去比較﹐拿自己的孩子和週圍同事﹐鄰居﹐朋友的小孩來比﹐得出誰好誰壞的結論﹐11年級的HAN JING說﹕“每個孩子都是不同的﹐我們都是孩子﹐不要拿我們去比較﹗”在這方面，10年級的Vicki說她父母常說的一句鼓勵的話很受用：“天外有天﹐山外有山﹐總有人做得更好，但只要你盡力了，就沒有遺憾了。”

　　當在座的一位家長提出每個孩子說說最喜歡父母做過的事情和最不喜歡父母做過的事情﹐多數孩子認為父母對自己的尊重是他們最喜歡和難忘的﹐而父母不明原因的指責是他們難以接受的。

　　當討論接近尾聲時﹐主持人趙老師幾句感性的話﹐不由得不引起家長們的思考﹐她說﹐不要把孩子的成敗看成是自己的成敗﹐父母應該反省自己﹐我們對孩子的期望是什麼﹐他們達不到時我們的反應是什麼﹐我們對孩子的期望沒有錯﹐但是不能把自己的付出加在孩子的頭上﹐總是用這個作為一把劍﹐高懸在孩子的頭上﹐讓他們覺得欠了我們的﹐父母的角色﹐更多的是在他們未成年時起到陪伴、保護、幫助和指導的作用。

當天的活動﹐讓在座的家長們受益匪淺﹐因為孩子們說出了他們的心里話，家長們了解了他們的內心世界，不少家長建議以後應該多辦這種活動。

下期活动的主题是 “如何满足孩子的感情需求？” 父母子女教育俱乐部和华夏爱迪生中文学校联合举办。特邀NAMI’s Dr. Sherry Liu 来主讲。时间： 2008年3月9日 星期日下午1:45pm – 3:15pm。 地点: 华夏爱迪生中文学校Edison High School , 50 Blvd of Eagles, Edison NJ 08817. 报名方式：请到网上www.pceclub.org注册．电话联系: Dennis Wu (732-687-6921), Yixin Zhang (908-405-2786) 费用：免费.

　　父母子女教育俱樂部是一個非營利非宗教非政治組織。其宗旨是為華人父母提供一個學習和討論的平台，不斷提高個人和子女情商，開發智商，增進和子女的交流。欲了解更多有關俱樂部的信息，請參閱俱樂部網站 www.pceclub.org/ 或注冊我們的免費通訊錄 (電郵至 joinpceclub@pceclub.org). (Linda Niu)

“青少年在想什么？”

第54次活动将于二月十六日在爱迪生举办

“青少年在想什么？” 这是众多青少年家长互问的问题。 子女和父母之间合理的沟通对培养孩子健康成长是至关重要的，

让孩子们说出他们的心里话，了解他们的内心世界，增加他们和父母诚恳的沟通，最终让子女和父母成为知心朋友，使他们度过一个美好的青春期。>第54次活动将于二月十六日在爱迪生举办“实话实说 - Fishbowl Forum: Let Kids Speak Out”，届时将邀请青少年主讲讨论。俱乐部邀请到新州英华中文学校的优秀教师 Joy Zhao 女士主持。讲座之前是为众多家长和小朋友喜爱的“儿童才艺表演”。孩子们将在台上表演各种才艺，包括弹钢琴，唱歌，讲故事等等。请关注下周更详细的通知。活动时间：2008年2月16日，星期六，6:30-10:00 pm; 地点：新泽西亚洲文化中心1876 Rt.27 Edison, NJ 08817。报名费：会员免费，非会员每家$10。欢迎大家报名参加。有兴趣者可在网上注册。 电话联系: Dr. Chengwen Wang: 732-766-8266 或 Lily Wang女士(leeandlily@yahoo.com)。

了解中西文化的差异，帮助孩子培养自信
父母子女教育俱乐部第53次活动小结

(English Report follows after this Chinese report)

1月12日星期六晚，父母子女教育俱乐部成功举办了第53次活动。俱乐部有幸请到了在纽约市模范小学教师，具有十六年教龄的黄玉萍老师位为大家讲述怎样更好地理解生长在美国，接受美国文化熏陶的中国孩子，以帮助他们自信，自强，自立地成长，发挥创造力，挖掘最大潜力，走向成功人生。

部分与会家长与黄玉萍老师(前排中)合影
黄老师从中美文化差异的角度，抛砖引玉，启发在座的家长从一个不同于中国传统教育的思路来思考教育孩子的方式，提出教育孩子过程中应注重孩子的“Self Esteem”的问题，以帮助孩子从小建立自信心，发挥最大潜力，为将来的快乐人生和出色工作打好基础。


黄老师提到，对孩子的教育应该是殊途同归。不论用中国方式还是美国方式，对孩子的教育从小就应该注重应以不打击孩子的自信心，自尊心为出发点。这一点美国家长总的来说做的比中国家长好。根本原因在于中国与美国的文化差异。在中国语言中，似乎找不到一个对英文“self esteem”的确切翻译，原因是中国的传统文化中缺乏这种个性化的概念。中国的传统文化注重按照传统模式教育孩子，鼓励孩子成为一个社会公认的优秀人才，而不注重孩子的个人意愿和个人的能力。如果孩子没有按照固定模式成长成为公认成功的人，将被视为异类或失败者而被压抑或打击。这样的教育观念下培养出来的孩子一般来说循规蹈矩，但很可能缺乏自信与自我意识，他们的创造力与开拓精神也因此而被家长无意识地磨灭。

而在美国文化中，最被强调的是培养孩子的self esteem, 从小学教育到公司的企业文化，self esteem是最值得重视的一个方面，因为一个人的self esteem 程度决定了他的创造力和潜能的发挥。而美国的社会进步正是依赖个人的创造力和能力的最大发挥。美国文化也十分强调个性化，个人的自信与对生活的满足感要远远高于他人眼里认为的所谓成功。Self Esteem包含的内容很丰富，不是一个中文词就可以诠释的，包括五个方面：自信self confidence，自尊 self respect，自我信赖 self relliance，自豪 self pride与自立 independent。黄老师认为Self Esteem可以解释为对自我价值的肯定。

如果家长还是用中国的传统观念教育在美国生长的孩子，偏重学习能力和学习成绩与名次，忽视孩子的个性和心理感受，不注重引导孩子加强自信，自尊，自立等方面的培养，难免会阻碍孩子自信心和创造力的发挥，而影响孩子将来在美国社会中的竞争力。这样也会激化父母和孩子之间的冲突，加深双方的代沟。原因是孩子从小就在学校接受美国文化的熏陶和美国式的教育，他们接受的概念是如何发觉自己的定位，发挥自己的长处，培养自己的兴趣和选择自己的发展方向。家长如果对孩子的自我意识不给与足够的尊重和重视，与美国的文化与教育传统背道而驰，当然迟早会与孩子发生不必要的冲突。

黄老师这次讲座的内容是她与在美国土生土长的25岁的儿子Paul共同讨论共同准备的结晶，融汇了黄老师对中国文化传统的分析和Paul对美国文化与教育理念的理解，更多的是向大家介绍美国文化背景下美国人对孩子的教育思路，引人深思。

这次活动由俱乐部Simon Wang, Alison Zhang，和李丹青组织举办。共有60多位家长参加。

下期活动的主题是 “青少年在想什么？”　将邀请青少年主讲讨论。黄老师的儿子Paul也应邀出席，将成为主讲之一。时间：7 pm – 8 pm, Feb. 16th, Sat.　地点：Savior Lutheran Church, at 50 Calvert Avenue East, Edison, NJ 08820-3248

报名费：会员免费，非会员每家$10。欢迎大家报名参加。有兴趣者可电邮至 registration@pceclub.org。

欲了解更多有关俱乐部的信息，请参阅俱乐部网站 http://www.pceclub.org/ 或注册我们的免费通讯录 (电邮至 joinpceclub@pceclub.org).

Below is the English verison:
　
clubbers and friends,

The PCE Club’s 53th monthly event was very successfully held on Saturday, January 12, 2008 at the Asian Cultural Center. The meeting began with PCE’s unique program: Children Talent Performances. After the extremely entertaining shows by the kids from 2 to 10 years old, Mrs. Huang gave a very eye-opening presentation on “Building Confidence and Self Esteem”.

Mrs. Huang, a model kindergarden teacher in a public primary school in New York, has over 16 years experience in early childhood education. She spent a lot of time to prepare for this presentation and had numourous discussions with her 25-year-old son Paul who was born in the US therefore was able to provide a lot of valuable imput from his point of view as an America- born Chinese child.

The core idea about this presentation is that it is extremely important for Chinese parents to have the awareness of kids’ Self-Esteem when educating their childern in order to raise children who can reach their full potential and maximize their creativities, and who will be happy and confident in their long path of future life.

Different children have different personalilities and different level of capabilities. Although parents should not follow one patern to educate children, to guide and to rule them, but all the means should not be conflict with helping kids building their self confidence, self respect, self reliance, self pride, independence, the 5 core elements of Self Esteem.

Keeping in mind that children’s self esteem should be nurtured and fully respected will also help narrow gap between parents and children.

Most Chinese parents in the US were brought up in China with Chinese culture, in which the concept of self esteem has been lacking, intead, Chinese people have been encouraged to follow a certain patern to learn and behave which meet the society needs. If a person doesn’t follow the patern, he/she is not a good person in all other people’s view. Individualism and creativities have been ignored or even discouraged; while in American culture, our children are encouraged to explore the world arround them with little patern to follow, the children thus get the message from very young age that they need to figure out their own way to observe the environment, to make their own decision, to learn at their own pace, to perform at their own level, thus to create as they wish as long as they don’t break rules or the law. In this way, building and protecting kids self esteem is very much emphasized in the American way of education since it is deeply rooted in American’s culture as Mrs. Huang observed.

Different explosure to different culture lead to different understanding and reaction to the same thing and different way of handling things. Conflicts between the two generations thus arise. Conflicts will become more heated when children are in teens who want more liberty to think and do differently from their parents.

Understanding the difference of two cultures will certainly help parents to have better understanding of their children, and also to be as much supportive as possible to help them build their own self esteem.

The presentation certainly provided a different way of thinking to Chinese parents in child education from a different angle with more understanding on culture difference. About 60 people attended this event. This event was organized by Simon Wang, Allison Zhang and Danqing Li.

In PCE Club’ s next monthly event, Mrs. Huang’s 25-year-old son Paul will be as one of the panelists to be on the forum of What’s on a Teenager’s Mind?

Time: 7 pm – 8 pm, Feb. 16th, Sat.　
Address: Savior Lutheran Church, at 50 Calvert Avenue East, Edison, NJ 08820-3248

Please stay tuned for more info. To learn more about PCE Club, please feel free to sign up for the free emailing list at joinpceclub@pceclub.org or http://groups.yahoo.com/group/pce_club/. Please visit us at our website http://www.pceclub.org/ for more details on the Club's
activities.

Respectfully submitted,
Danqing Li

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PCE Club's 53rd Event Announcement - Building Confidence

The PCE Club will kick off her first event in 2008 on January 12, Saturday from 6:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. at Asian Cultural Enterprises Center, Edison. Ms. Yuping Huang, a publich school teacher with experience in early childhood education will give a presentation on "Building Confidence". She will cover following topics:

Self-esteem is the core of confidence.

The importance of positive self-esteem.

Building self-esteem is a family affair.

Four ways of parenting: Positive or negative confidence builders.

Case studies and discussions on: Early Childhood (Ages 4-7), Pre-teens (Ages 8-12) and Teen (Ages> 13+)

Biography of Speaker:

Ms. Yuping Huang is a head teacher in public school, and Harrison early board childhood board of education volunteer advisory board member. She has been an early childhood teacher in public school for 20 years. She graduated with a MA in American History and European Minor in The University of Southwestern Louisiana, and held a BA in English Language and English Literature from Shanghai International Studies University.

The event will start with Children Talent Performance session. If you children would like to perform, you need to register for them by specifying your children's name and title of the performance (piano, singing, story-telling, etc.) when you register to this event. Due to the time limitation, only a limit number of children can perform on the stage this time. Please make a registration as soon as possible.

After the talent show, kids under 7 years old will move upstairs to continue with Children's program led by Ms. Zhao. Ms. Zhao is professionally trained in early children education. Kids love her program!

Location and Time:
Asian Cultural Enterprises Center, #1876 Rt.27, Edison, NJ 08817
Jan 12, 2008. From 6:30pm to 9:30pm

Registration: Please go online (http://www.pceclub. org) for registration.
Admission Fee: Free for members. $10 per family for non-members to share the operation cost.

Agenda:
Family Program (downstairs)
6:30pm-6:55pm, Registration, networking and social
6:55pm-7:45pm, Children Performance
7:45pm-8:00 pm, Break
8:00pm-9:15pm, "Building Confidence?' by Ms. Yuping Huang
9:15pm-9:30 pm, Q & A, kids pick up and clean up.
Kids Program (upstairs):
7:45pm-9:30pm, led by Ms. Zhao Xiaohui
9:30pm, Kids pick up.

Simon Wang

Report on the 52nd Event - Family Night

Dear Clubbers and Friends,

Over 70 people, children and adults, gathered in Edison on the evening of December 8 to celebrate the club's 3rd annual Family Night. It also marked the 52nd monthly event that the club has organized since it was founded. The evening was filled with warmth, laughter, tasty food, musical performances and celebration of the achievements the club has made. We are looking ahead for a year with new challenges and more programs to accomplish.

One of the major features of the Family Night was the potluck. Each family brought over their own signature dishes which ranged from cold noodles in Korean style,
to roast eggs, sauteed ribs, mixed veggies, Italien macaroni with meatballs, to sticky rice cake, sweet nuts soup, etc. So many varieties - you name it, we had it. Every dish was unique but just as tasty as the others. Many thanks to all the families who brought such delicious food.

Following the potluck was the group performances. In order to encourage more people to participate in this activity, the event organizers decided to have only group performances this time. The children sang several Christmas carols with three teenage girls, Priscila, Tiffany and Cindy, being the leading singers, violin and viola players. Amber Lin and Jaron Ge were the piano accompanists for "Silent Night" and
"We Wish You a Merry Christmas" respectively. Other participants included but were not limited to Andrew Wu, William Chen, Dennis Zhang, Stephanie Xiao and many other younger children whose names I can't recall. What needs to be noted is that for the first time 4 preteen boys (Dennis, William, Andrew and Jaron) performed Chinese SanJuBan (3 and 1/2 sentences) entitled "Good Behaviors". Although there was still much to be improved, they tried their best. I hope this is the beginning of a series of such performances in the future. It wouldn't be complete without mentioning the debut of some parents' singing. They sang 2 songs: "the Jasemine Flowers" and "Bidding
a Good-bye" (aka "ChangTingWai" ). Under the directorship of Patty Huang, their performance was close to professional. All right, I am a little exaggerating. But it was really phenomenonal! For those children who performed, please come to the next
event to get your award certificates.

The last but not the least is the power point presentation on the introduction to the new Helping Center given by Sandra Liu, the revisit to the discussed topics on the online forum by Angela Chiu, the review of the past 12 events by Cindy Yu, the summary of the past 52 events and the preview of the future programs by Yingting Zhang, and the call for sponsoring the PCE Club by Dennis Wu.

The Family Night was ended at 9:45pm. A big "Thank you" to the three event organizers: Tiffany Chen, master of the ceremony, Maggie Zhang, the potluck director, and Patty Huang, the music director. Their efforts are much appreciated. Many thanks also go to the many people who helped to make this event successful. Great team work!

Our next event will be held on January 12, 2008. The theme will be "how to build confidence for your child?" to be conducted by Mrs. Huang, an exemporary
kindergarten teacher. The event organizers will be Dr. Simon Wang and Ms. Alison Zhang. Please stay tuned for more info.

Look forward to seeing you at the next event,

Yingting
On behalf of the 52nd event organizers

敦親睦鄰,守望相助 -家庭欢乐夜圆满结束
--- 父母子女教育俱乐部成功举办了第52次活动


父母子女俱乐部52次活動” 敦親睦鄰,守望相助”已於12月8日在超过20餘個家庭, 70 多位家長和小朋友们的参与中欢乐度过. 節目由俱樂部會長張颖婷簡短對今年的回顧以及明年的展望報告中揭開序幕, 在一家一菜满桌豐富菜肴饗宴後,接著一連串盛誕歡樂節目在俱樂部的家長和兒童精彩表演中順序登場,不少小朋友即興上台表現唱作俱佳的現場秀著實贏得滿堂喝采.然後每月主題策劃人依其不同月份一一輪流對今年已完成的講座做一簡單扼要說明.三個多小時的歡聚在互相祝福身聲中道別,也期待明年再見.

俱乐部将于2008年1月12日举办第53次活动。请关注下周更详细的通知。活动时间：2008年1月12日，星期六，6:30-10:00 pm; 地点：待定。报名费：会员免费，非会员每家$10。欢迎大家报名参加。有兴趣者可在网上注册。 电话联系: Dr. Simon Wang: 732-309-9268。欲了解更多有关俱乐部的信息，请参阅俱乐部网站或注册我们的免费通讯录（电邮至joinpceclub@pceclub.org）. (Tiffany Chen)

PCE Club Overview and Summary of Its 52 Monthly Events (as of December 2007)

父母子女教育俱乐部是一个非营利非宗教非政治的教育组织。其宗旨是为华人父母提供一个学习和讨论的平台，不断提高个人和子的女情商，开发智商，增进和子女的交流。
俱乐部的主要活动为每月第二个周六聚会，内容包括专题讲座，家教心得交流和儿童才艺表演。会员之间通过PCE Club at Yahoo!Groups (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/pce_club/ )交流和联系。该俱乐部以各种不同方式来培养和增强儿童的自信心，领导能力，社交能力，表达能力，幽默感，想象能力，举一反三能力，激发个种方面学习兴趣和拓展各种知识面等等。俱乐部集中在培养儿童自身素质，公众表达能力和学习能力包括快速阅读和快速理解能力。也培养孩子自身管理和时间管理能力。同时也为家长朋友提供一个机会和场所交流有关儿童教育和成长的经验和教训，避免走弯路，并探讨大家关心的话题和互相帮助。

The Parents and Children Education Club is a non-profit, non-religious and non-political educational organization. It was established with a mission to provide a learning and sharing platform for the development of emotional intelligence of all members and their children and the improvement of communications between parents and children.

Its objective is to focus on building children's self-confidence, social skills, public speech skills and leadership skills, promoting children's self-motivation, exposing children to different areas so that they become more knowledgeable, and promoting the growth of our EQ instead of just IQ.

Since its conception and establishment in September 2003, the Club has grown dramatically from. The club has held 52 monthly events including 4 successful annual conferences on Chinese-American Parenting Practices, the only kind in parenting nature organized by a group of devoted volunteering parents ever held in the world to my best knowledge. Since establishment, we have not skipped any month, covering various topics related to EQ development, benefiting many parents in the community.

Our online forum with nearly 500 registered is the great platform for parents to raise their concerned issues, and to share information, knowledge and experience so that others could avoid many pitfalls that might occur in their parenting journey.

Parenting is one of the most challenging tasks; yet it is also the most rewarding one. To sponsor the Club, you may fill out the form below or visit http://www.pceclub.org/ for more info. If you are already a sponsor, we thank you for your support and welcome you to put forward your opinions, recommendations, and comments about the programs of Club. Please remember that PCE Club is run by the parents, for the parents and their children. Together we can make a difference!

Become a CLUB Sponsor Today

Become a sponsor of the PCE Club and help support our mission and efforts to raise emotionally intelligent children. Plus, enjoy these great benefits:

* Enjoy free annual PCE Club conference
* Enjoy free monthly events that feature children talent show, seminars on various parenting
topics.
* Participate in discussion in the Online Forum as well as to receive and share advises with other
parents.
* enjoy networking with other parents.
* All donations are TAX DEDUCTIBLE.
* And much more…

As a sponsor, you'll be supporting many of volunteering parents to organize programs and events for our community. Your privacy is important to us. We pledge not to share any personal information with any third parties.

Club Sponsor Form

I am a ( ) New Sponsor or ( ) previous Sponsor.
Last Name: _____________________________
First Name: _____________________________
Home Address:
_______________________________________
_______________________________________
Home Telephone: ________________________
Email: _________________________________
Suggested Donation for 2008 ($60): _______
Please send your completed form and a check payable to PCE Club for your FAMILY CARD to the following address:

PCE Club c/o Mr. Dennis Wu, EVP
8 Azalea Ct,
East Brunswick, NJ 08816

Thank you very much for your support


Yingting Zhang
President
Parents and Children Education Club

__________________________________________________________________
父母子女教育俱乐部大事活动表 (as of December 2007)
-- Compiled by Yingting Zhang

成立2003年9月父母子女教育俱乐部正式成立，俱乐部是一个非营利非宗教非政治组织。其宗旨是为华人父母提供一个学习和讨论的平台， 不断提高个人和子女情商，开发智商，增进和子女的交流。

第一次活动2003年9月27日8个家庭参加，孩子表演，社交，父母讨论如何办好俱乐部，更好地服务华人社区。

第二次活动2003年10月25日15个家庭参加，孩子表演, 锻炼自信心，父母交流心得和交流读书信息。起草使命声明和目标。

第三次活动2003年11月29日孩子自我介绍，鼓励表演，培养舞台举止。由艺术爱好者李坚先生
做专题讲座-油画欣赏。拓展父母和孩子知识面。

第四次活动2003年12月27日孩子的手工艺品展览，培养孩子公众演进能力。由哈佛大学胡玲和Rajed 分享如何有效地申请常春藤学校。

第五次活动2004年1月31日上官先生介绍了打高尔夫球知识，小朋友们练习了自我介绍。俱乐部顾问廖冰博士主讲了如何激发孩子阅读兴趣。

第六次活动2004年2月28日顾海伦女士以亲身的经历讲解如何保护孩子的视力？俱乐部顾问廖冰博士主讲了在多子女家庭中父母如何引导子女互相帮助，和平相处。

第七次活动2004年3月27日王美玉女士和Steven 绍先生与各位家长分享了他们成功的“Home Schooling”经验, 家长了解了“Home Schooling”和常规学校之间的区别。

第八次活动2004年4月24日由廖冰,王爱娟,曹新基, 于太太, 张晓星和陈科文作为青少年家长小组成员, 对青少年家长的子女教育体会及面临的挑战做了专题讨论。

第九次活动2004年5月22日主题为“如何教孩子合理安排时间”, 廖冰博士主讲。 “询问专家”节目是由哥伦比亚大学毕业的朱宇鹰牙科医生主讲如何保护孩子的牙齿，预防儿童牙科病等。

第十次活动2004年6月26日主题为“过来人谈子女教育”, 主讲者为Ms. Shirley Yang 和周世健女士。
第十一次活动2004年7月31日体验生活户外活动--漂流，以家庭为单位一起体验大自然。增进父母与子女的感情。

第十二次活动2004年8月28日第一届“华人子女教育研讨会” 。主题为父母子女间如何有效交流。哥伦比亚大学的叶晶教授是会议的主讲者，这次她做的演讲题为“了解您的孩子：亚裔青年的正面发展及学业成功” 。鱼缸式论坛更是别具一格：十来位青少年在大会堂中坐成一圈回答问题。以年龄划分的四个小组的讲座分别由周世建女士主持0-3岁组，廖冰博士主持4-7岁组，李慧瑗老师主持8-12岁以及曹新基先生主持的青少年组。著名女作家陈屹女士是特邀的专题讨论专家。她认为父母与子女的沟通十分重要，父母要给孩子价值，要树立榜样让子女以你为荣，在过程中有不断的新发现，还要学会感激。

第十三次活动2004年10月2日主题是 “华人子女的素质教育和对策─ 整体印象和集体无意识”，由陈鲁鸣主讲。

第十四次活动2004年10月30日主题是 “通过练琴真正实现对孩子的素质教育”，“苦儿” 不再苦，学琴受益不受罪。由邝祖敏老师(Ms. Racheal Kuang)主讲。

第十五次活动2004年11月13日主题是和孩子一起成长由<<我与孩子共成长》一书的作者钟蕾女士主讲。

第十六次活动2004年12月11日主题是父母应该如何为子女申请大学奖助学金早做准备和大学如何颁发奖助学金，父母应知己知彼，百战百胜。鲍爱奇会计师为主讲人。

第十七次活动2005年1月8日主题是“怎样培养一个高情商(EQ)的孩子”，由俱乐部顾问廖冰博士主讲。
第十八次活动2005年2月26日主题是”如何有效地管理好时间，提高效率，事半功倍”，由Mass Mutual副总裁龙吟女士主讲如何平衡事业与家庭。

第十九次活动2005年3月12日主题是“理性教育，独立人格” ，由瑞德大学传播学系王敏民教授主讲。
第二十次活动2005年4月9日主题是“如何帮助孩子学会自我控制” ，由俱乐部顾问廖冰博士主讲。

第二十一次活动2005年5月14日主题是如何培养儿童的逻辑思维与表达能力，由创办并主讲“七色光”的李宁先生和胡知宇律师主讲。

第二十二次活动2005年6月11日主题是“如何培养明天的领导人物” 。由桥水市议长邢天佑 (Mr. Michael Hsing) 先生主讲。

第二十三次活动2005年7月9日主题是让快乐的阅读伴随孩子茁壮成长。由原中国少年儿童出版社副总编辑，中国出版工作者协会幼儿读物工作委员会会长刘媛华女士主讲。

第二十四次活动2005年8月27日由父母子女教育俱乐部和多维时报联合举办的第二届华人子女教育研讨会. 主题:“和睦家庭对子女成长的影响”. 由瑞德大学传播学系王敏民教授主讲. 我们这些生活在海外的华人，如何在东西方文化的冲击中给孩子创造一个适合他们生长的和睦家庭环境呢？会议内容将包括教育咨询，特邀主讲，四个内容不同的学习讲座，“实话实说鱼缸式”论坛，还有征文活动.
第二十五次活动2005年9月10日夏令营讨论会和交流经验.

第二十六次活动2005年10月8日主题为“华裔领袖才能的发展”，由伊丽莎白黄女士主讲.

第二十七次活动2005年11月12日主题为“如何帮助孩子有效利用图书馆信息资源”。由当时任俱乐部副会长后任会长的的张颖婷女士主讲

第二十八次活动2005年12月11日举办“家庭欢乐夜”.俱乐部的概况以及明年活动的计划.

第二十九次活动2006年1月14日以孩子们的体育活动为主题的家长讨论

第三十次活动2006年2月11日由新州著名印度裔女活动家，州政府官员 Ms. Seema M. Singh, Esq作了以印度文化为主题的演讲.

第三十一次活动2006年3月11日举办夏令营讨论会, 由廖冰博士主讲.还请到了在纽约市从事广告艺术创作及电影制作的Ms. Arati Nath 来给孩子们辅导如何进行广告设计.

第三十二次活动2006年4月8日主题: “情商培养的实例分析与分享”. Mrs. and Mr. Schafer介绍了情商是关于人们处理个人情绪,人际关系,逆境适应的能力,是属心理学范畴的.

第三十三次活动2006年5月13日主题: “你了解自己的孩子吗?” 著名儿童神经专家薛敏博士作了题为“The Differences That Make A Difference”的讲座。

第三十四次活动2006年6月10日主题: ‘一次关于“我是谁”生动的体验’. 十九岁的哈佛社会学大学生Miss Ann Chao给家长和孩子们作了一次别生面的讲座.

第三十五次活动2006年7月8日主题: “让音乐伴随孩子健康成长”. 少年钢琴家孟雨晴来为大家演奏，同时请到了雨晴的父亲来和家长们分享孩子学琴的经历和经验。

第三十六次活动2006年8月12日漂流野营

第三十七次活动2006年9月9日由父母子女教育俱乐部和多维时报联合举办的第三届华人子女教育研讨会. 研讨会以“培养一个高情商的孩子”为主题，邀请“情商子女教育”作者之一的心理学家托必亚(Steven Tobias)专题演讲。王薛红主持第二代子弟“实话实说”座谈. 研讨会也举办了数项专题讨论会，由刘向群主持“如何克服文化障碍来面对孩子的特殊需要”座谈、廖冰讲述“怎样成为孩子的情感教练”、印裔律师辛恩(Seema Singh)谈“多元文化与情商教育”、翟宝建领讲“情商与领导能力的培养”，晚间由桥水市议长邢天佑 (Mr. Michael Hsing) 先生主讲孩子的情商教育, 均吸引许多关切子女教育的家长们加入讨论。

第三十八次活动2006年10月14日主题: “聆听和探讨培养教育高情商孩子”. 没有机会参加上次讨论的俱乐部成员有机会在屏幕上次聆听著名的心理学家DR. S. TOBIAS的讲话.

第三十九次活动2006年11月11日主题: “艺术是孩子成长的摇篮”. 一次别开生面的专题讨论会，与莎伦画院老师谈孩子学画以及美术在孩子成长中的作用。

第四十次活动2006年12月9日举办“家庭欢乐夜”. 聚餐, 联欢,俱乐部的概况以及明年活动的计划.

第四十一次活动2007年1月12日主题: 子女教育经验分享以及专题讨论。

第四十二次活动2007年2月9日主题: “关怀社会，尊重生命”. Joy Zhao向大家介绍慈少会员们参与的各种社会服务活动。

第四十三次活动2007年3月8日主题: 育儿书讨论会以及专题讨论

第四十四次活动2007年4月12日主题: “大学入学准备” , 专题讨论讲座. 第一部分为大学费用的筹备策略和实行计划; 第二部分为大学入学申请的趋势,程序及成功实例分析.

第四十五次活动2007年5月10日主题: “人人都可以作领袖人物, 只需把它从你的内心带出” 由of Masterful Kids LLC的总裁Robin Schafer女士主讲

第四十六次活动2007年6月14日主题: “怎样让您或您孩子在华尔街找到理想的工作”, 由华尔街著名人才咨询公司的副总裁甘博士介绍.

第四十七次活动2007年7月12日公园野餐

第四十八次活动2007年8月16日漂流野营

第四十九次活动2007年9月6日由父母子女教育俱乐部和多维时报联合举办的”第四届华人子女教育研讨会”. 主题：“肯定自我—如何培養孩子健康的心理素質”. 研討會内容有：主题演讲, 由Rutgers 的王益平教授主讲，廖冰博士主持第二代子弟“实话实说”鱼缸式论坛以及由Mass Mutual副总裁龙吟女士主持的专题讨论。

第五十次活动2007年10月13日主题：“华人女市长演讲领袖才能与情商培养” - 新泽西州第一位华人女市长谢兰女士为大家讲述怎样更好地培养领袖才能与健全的情商。

第五十一次活动2007年11月10日特邀Maria Mastro 女士分享特殊儿童教育心路历程, 题目是 “有残缺, 还是更美丽”.

第五十二次活动2007年12月8日举办“家庭欢乐夜”. 聚餐, 联欢,俱乐部的概况以及明年活动的计划.

To Become a CLUB Sponsor Today!

Dear Parents,

Please become a sponsor of the PCE Club and help support our mission and efforts to raise emotionally intelligent children. Plus, enjoy these great benefits:

* Enjoy free annual PCE Club conference
* Enjoy free monthly events that feature children talent show, seminars on various parenting
topics.
* Participate in discussion in the Online Forum as well as to receive and share advises with other parents.
* Network with other parents.
* All donations are TAX DEDUCTIBLE.
* And much more ...

As a sponsor, you'll be supporting many of the volunteering parents to organize programs and events for our community. Your privacy is important to us. We pledge not to share any personal information with any third parties.

Club Sponsor Form (please print, fill it out and mail it to the address given below)

I am a ( ) New Sponsor or ( ) previous Sponsor.

Last Name: _____________________________
First Name: _____________________________
Home address:______________________________________
Home Telephone: ________________________
Email: _________________________________
Suggested Donation for 2008 ($60): _______

Please send your completed form and a check payable to PCE Club for your FAMILY CARD to the following address:
PCE Club
c/o Mr. Dennis Wu, EVP
8 Azalea Ct, East Brunswick, NJ 08816

Thank you for your support.

Yingting Zhang
On behalf of all the PCE Club's volunteering organizers

Announcing the 52nd Event - Family Night

Dear Clubbers and Friends,

It is this time of the year again - the holdidays are on the road approaching us! This is the time to celebrate the past accomplishments and to welcome the excitement of the new year arrival! Let's get togetherto have fun, to refresh our memories of what the club has done for us and to look forward to an exciting new year ahead.

The PCE Club will hold its 52nd event on Dec. 8, 2008 (6:30pm-9:30pm) . It will be our 3rd annual FamilyNight which will feature various kinds group performances, delicious food in the form of potluck, games for kids and adults and much more. Please register early as space is limited. Online registration is available at the club's website or at http://www.pceclub.org/portal/eventRegister.php?EventId=52 .

To share each other's favorite dishes, please bring 1 or 2 of your signature dishes, enough to serve 4-6 people. If your family or children would like to perform, please let Patty Huang know as soon as possible, no later than Dec. 3rd. This event is organized by Tiffany Chen, Maggie Zhang, Patty Huang and some other helpers.

We look forward to seeing you at the Family Night.

Yingting Zhang
On behalf of the event organizers

”敦亲稑邻,守望相助”年终晚会
--父母子女教育俱乐部将举办第52次活动

岁末寒冬, 又是祝福与感恩时节. 父母子女俱乐部将于12月8日在亚洲文化中心举行52次”敦亲稑邻,守望相助”年终晚会. 细数过往, 每位父母子女在工作学习辛苦之余,在感慨感恩之余, 家人尚能团聚围炉, 更提醒我们珍惜现在. 此次活动特征之一是由多位家庭成员组合联欢合唱團表演聖诞歌曲, 相声说书, 龙凤跳唱等节目. 另有多项遊戏适合举家同欢. 诚邀新旧朋友前来共共享晚餐, 一家一菜. 亦欢迎各项表演节目.

以上活动由Patty Huang, Maggie Zhang, Tiffany Chen等主持. 活动时间： 2007年12月8日, 星期六， 6:30pm – 9:30pm；地点： Asia Cultural Center, 1876 Rt. 27, Edison, NJ, 08817。报名费：会员免费，非会员每家$10。欢迎大家报名参加。有兴趣者可到网上注册http://www.pceclub.org/。联系：Tiffany Chen , Patty Huang <>, Maggie Zhang <>。欲了解更多有关俱乐部的信息，请参阅俱乐部网站或注册我们的免费通讯录 (电邮至 joinpceclub@pceclub.org). (Tiffany Chen)

Report on the 51st Event - "Broken or Beautiful"

The PCE Club's 51st monthly event was verysuccessfully held on Saturday, November 10, 2007 inthe Asian Cultural Center.

The meeting began with Children Talent Performances. The children's performances were extremely enjoyable for the audience. The performances included piano-playing, singing, and storytelling. This was followed by the keynote speaker, Mrs. Maria Mastro.

Mrs. Mastro is a mother of four daughters who range in age from 5 to 13. Two of them have been diagnosed with special needs. She began with a speech regarding the emotional impact of her children being diagnosed with special needs and her journey to acceptance by shifting the focus from the "brokenness" of her children to their strengths and valuable qualities. We then proceeded to have a roundtable discussion, during which many in the audience asked questions regarding their children and shared parenting experiences. Mrs. Mastro, along with her husband addressed all of the questions raised by the audience and provided much valuable parenting insight.

Thanks,

Kam Ferro

PCE 51st Event Announcement

PCE Club will hold its 51st event on Nov 10th, , 2007, from 7:00pm to 9:30pm, at Asian Cultural Enterprises Center, 1876 Rt. 27, Edison, NJ 08817. As usual, this event will be composed of two sessions, Parents’ Discussion and Children’s program. This event is hosted by Ms. Sandra Liu and Mrs. Kam Ferro.

The title of parents’ seminar is “Broken or Beautiful”. The speaker, Mrs. Maria Mastro, is a mother of four daughters who range in age from 13 to 5. Two of them have been diagnosed with special needs. She home-schooled her children for six years before putting them into private school where she is currently working. Maria has also organized many community outreach activities for youth. She feels strongly about the benefit of such programs for all children but especially for children with special needs. She beleives it reinforces the knowledge that we all have something of value within ourselves to give and that we have worth as people. Mrs. Mastro is passionate about encouraging families through the painful process of discovering special needs in their family and moving them toward greater understanding and eventual acceptance by shifting the focus from the "brokenness" of the individual to their strengths and valuable qualities.

As we all know, there are always “brokenness” within ourselves and our kids one way or the other. Sometime, it is hard to accept the fact that we and our kids are “less” than what we have expected. The PCE event will be a great opportunity for all parent to reflect to ourselves, and recollect our appreciation to our kids uniqueness.

The kids program will start 7:00-7:45, featuring the well-loved “talent show”. Here your children will stand up to demonstrate any kinds of talents, such as, playing musical instrument, singing a song, tellling a story, performing a dance and so on. This part of the program has been so loved by kids and parent in the previous events. Due to the high rate of participation, we would have to use a lottery to select the performers and limit the time of each performer to 3 minute so that more kids can enjoy the stage time. If you children would like to have a performance, you need to register for them by specifying your children's name and performance with title when you register to this event. After the talent show, kids under 7 years old will move upstairs to continue with Children’s program led by Ms. Zhao. Ms. Zhao is professionally trained in early children education. Kids love her program!

Registration: Please register online or send your registration to: registration@pceclub.org before Nov. 9th, 2005. Please include the below information in your registration:
Your name and family name (if different from your last name)
Number of Adults (including you) will attend
Number of Children will attend
Your child's name (for talent performance)
Performance (piano, singing, story-telling, etc.) with title
Your home location (town name):
Phone number (optional) Admission Fee: Free for members, $10 per family for non-members to share the operation cost. Location and Time: Asian Cultural Enterprises Center, #1876 Rt.27, Edison, NJ 08817 From 6:30pm to 9:30pm Agenda
Family Program:
6:300pm-7:00pm, Registration, networking and social 7:00pm-7:45pm, Children Performance (downstairs) 7:45pm-8:00 pm, Break
Parents’ discussion
8:00-9:00: Parenting book reading and sharing
9:00pm-9:30pm, Q & A, kids pick up and clean up.
Kids Program (upstairs):
8:40pm-9:00pm, party time (need voleenteers)
9:10pm, Kids pick up.
No pick up later than 9:10pm

Sandra Liu
On behalf of PCE Club

“有残缺, 还是更美丽”

父母子女教育俱乐部将举办第51次讲座, 特邀Maria Mastro 女士分享特殊儿童教育心路历程, 题目是 “有残缺, 还是更美丽”. Maria Mastro 女士现任私立学校教师, 是4个孩子的母亲. 她的两个孩子被诊断需要特殊教育. 她曾举办家庭学校6年, 亲自教育自己的孩子, 直到他们进入正式学校. 其间,由不了解到接纳, 到欣慰与感恩, 她和她的家庭走过一段回报丰盛的历程. 这使她更加认识到每一个人自身的价值, 从而致力于宣讲与鼓励家长们, 尤其是特殊需求儿童的家长们, 不再为孩子的缺陷担心, 改变方法, 转移目光, 开发孩子的长项, 由衷地欣赏孩子们独特的才干和品质.

讲座时间：2007年11月10日，星期六，6:30pm – 9:30pm；地点：Asia Cultural Center, 1876 Rt. 27, Edison, NJ, 08817。由Sandra Liu & Kam Ferro 联络主持。报名费：会员免费，非会员每家$10。欢迎大家报名参加。有兴趣者可电邮至 registration@pceclub.org。电话联系：Sandra Liu: xiangqunliu@yahoo.com; Kam Ferro: kam.y.ferro@jpmchase.com。欲了解更多有关俱乐部的信息，请参阅俱乐部网站 http://www.pceclub.org/ 或注册我们的免费通讯录 (电邮至 joinpceclub@pceclub.org). (Sandra Liu)

Dear clubbers and Friends,

The PCE Club’s 50th monthly event was very successfully held on Saturday, October 13, 2007 in the Asian Cultural Center. About thirty families came to join us in this event. Many children were anxiously waiting for this event as for three months in a row, they hadn’t got a chance to perform due to two outdoor events and one annual conference in July, August and September. Nearly 60 adults attended the seminar entitled “Becoming American”, conducted by Mayor Cecilia X Birge (aka "Xie Lan"), in discussion on leadership skills and emotional intelligence development.

As the first Chinese-American female mayor in the history of New Jersey, Mayor Birge is a dynamic elected official with strong leadership skills and a solid professional background in various disciplines. Despite her very busy schedule, Mayor Birge kindly accepted our invitation for speaking at the club’s event and gracefully arrived at the event ahead of time watching our kids’ talent show. She is such a down-to-earth leader, so approachable, easy-going, friendly and reliable! Mayor Birge started her session with two questions in a slide show entitled “Becoming American” They are: “What is American?” and “Am I American or Chinese?” She then analyzed why we should hold onto our Chinese heritage while being a patriotic American as follows:
“1. the essential process of becoming American is to maintain the diverse ethnic cultures while becoming a part of the whole society;
2. being able to appreciate cultural differences leads to positive outcomes in life; 3. the central theme of becoming American is to have strong identity of one’s ethnicity. After all, this is what America is all about.” Mayor Birge also pointed out the major elements of strong leadership: “1. have a vision - have strong opinions and a structured mind; not to be afraid to speak out; 2. build consensus - meeting of minds;
3. develop a win-win situation;
4. ability to appreciate diversity - be a cross cultural team player - reach out;
5. be prepared to deal with prejudice/racism with a positive attitude.

Followed the presentation was a Q and A section. Mayor Birge answered each question raised from the audience with great wisdom and patience. Some attendees were reluctant to leave when it was time to end. They continued to chat with Cecilia afterwards till it was quite late. It was really a wonderful presentation filled with great ideas, observations, exciting personal experience and constructive suggestions. When I first introduced Cecilia to the audience, I deliberately omitted the mention of her renowned grandfather (former president of Peking University) and her own father (famous anesthesiologist) as I would like the audience to get to know her very own strengths and power. Sure enough, she did not let us down. During the whole session, she was so analytical, logical and articulate. Her English was perfect with no trace of accent given she came to America as a grownup.

Apart from the wonderful presentation, our children’s talent show was also excellent. Jill, our new officer/the club’s public relations coordinator, hosted the talent show. She had each performing child introduce him/herself. It is our hope that the children will not only develop their talents in various areas, they would also develop a good manner in the public and on the stage. Thank you, Jill, for a job well done!The Club’s next event will be held on November 10th, 2007. The seminar will be “Broken or Beautiful” to be conducted by Ms. Maria Mastro. Sandra and Kam will be our next event’s organizers. Please stay tuned for more info.To learn more about PCE Club, please feel free to sign up for the free emailing list at joinpceclub@pceclub.org or http://groups.yahoo.com/group/pce_club/. Please visit us at our website http://www.pceclub.org/ for more details on the Club's activities.

Respectfully submitted,

Yingting Zhang
---
华人女市长演讲领袖才能与情商培养

-- 父母子女教育俱乐部成功举办了第50次活动

10月13日星期六晚，父母子女教育俱乐部成功举办了第50次活动。俱乐部有幸请到了新泽西州第一位华人女市长谢兰女士来为大家讲述怎样更好地培养领袖才能与健全的情商。这次活动由俱乐部会长张颖婷和俱乐部公关部经理季育荣组织举办。谢兰女士曾就读于北京师范大学英语系，后来美就读宾州Bryn Mawr 学院历史系，并于1994年毕业。之后一直任职于华尔街，从事证券分析至2003年，现任新州Montgomery 市长。这次讲座，谢市长根据自己的宝贵经验与亲身体会为我们讲解领袖才能与健全情商的培养。讲座前一小时是谢市长的演讲时间，谢市长以“何谓美国人？” 及“我是美国人还是中国人？”作为她讲座的开场白。她提到成为美国人的基本过程即是在成为主流社会一分子的同时也要保承美国社会的多元文化。对不同文化的欣赏会使我们的生活过的更积极正面。要成为一个美国人， 首先要建立自身强力的族裔身份。所以我们在融入美国社会的同时还要传承自己的中国文化。谢市长还指出，扎实的领袖才能包括：1，有远见；2，达成共识，但不是妥协；3，创造双赢环境；4，以正面的态度来面对偏见和种族歧视。讲座的后半小时则是问题解答。谢市长对听众提出的众多问题都一一给予认真回答，充满智慧但并不失幽默。现场气氛相当轻松活跃。讲座之前是为众多家长和小朋友喜爱的“儿童才艺表演”。孩子们在台上表演各种才艺，包括弹钢琴，唱歌，讲故事等等。孩子们的表演可圈可点，令家长们欣慰。很多家长反映，这个节目使他们的孩子受益匪浅，给孩子们提供了一个很好的锻炼平台，增强了孩子的自信心。下次活动时间：2007年11月10日，星期六，6:30pm – 9:30pm；地点：Asia Cultural Center, 1876 Rt. 27, Edison, NJ, 08817。报名费：会员免费，非会员每家$10。欢迎大家报名参加。有兴趣者可电邮至 http://us.f506.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=registration@pceclub.org。电话联系：Sandra Liu: http://us.f506.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=xiangqunliu@yahoo.com; Kam Ferro: http://us.f506.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=kam.y.ferro@jpmchase.com。欲了解更多有关俱乐部的信息，请参阅俱乐部网站 http://www.pceclub.org/ 或注册我们的免费通讯录 (电邮至 joinpceclub@pceclub.org).
(张颖婷，季育荣）

A Message From the PCE Club's President

Dear Clubbers and Friends,

The Parents and Children Education Club just held another successful annual conference onChinese-American Parenting Practices, the only kind inparenting nature organized by a group of devotedvolunteering parents ever held in the world to my bestknowledge.

The PCE Club is a non-profit, non-religious and non-political educational organization. Its mission isto provide learning and sharing platform for parentsin developing the emotional intelligence of theparents and their children as well as helping to improve the communications between the parents and their children. Its objectives are to focus on building children's self-confidence, social skills, public speech and leadership skills, promoting children's self motivation, encouraging parents to expose their children to different areas so that they become more knowledgeable, promoting the growth of our EQ instead of just IQ.

Since its conception and establishment in September 2003, the Club has grown dramatically from infancy, toddlership, to present preschool stage. Its programs started from within a family house, then to a church auditorium hall and now in the Asian Cultural Center. The club has held 49 monthly events ever since it was founded without skipping any month, covering various topics related to EQ development, benefiting many parents in the community. Its online forum with nearly500 members is the great platform for parents to raise their concerned issues, and to share information, knowledge and experience so that others could avoid many pitfalls that might occur in their parenting journey. Parenting is one of the most challenging tasks for many parents; yet it is also the most rewarding one. We welcome you to join the club if you haven't.

To join the Club, email your application to http://us.f506.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=registration%40pceclub.org, or click on http://pceclub.%20org/portal/%20modules.php? for more info or to register online. If you are already a member, we thank you for your support and welcome you to put forward your opinions, recommendations, and comments about the programs of Club and how we can serve you better. Please remember that PCE Club is run by the parents, for the parents and their children. Together we can make a difference! If you have any questions about the Club, please contact me or email to<http://us.f506.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=info%40pceclub.org>.

Thank you all for your interest in and support to the PCE Club,

Yingting Zhang

President of the PCE Club

父母子女教育俱乐部　(PCE Club)　将在今夏为家长和孩子们连续举办一系列活动 – 第47，48和49次活动
七月的夏日野餐 - 交友
父母子女教育俱乐部将于7月14日（星期六）上午十一点举办户外交友野餐活动。 地点是Colonial Park (Parking lot D or C), Somerset, NJ。 必须要事先报名。请电 732-238-0576 或 http://www.pceclub.org 查询。
八月的夏日野营漂流 – 享受大自然
父母子女教育俱乐部将于8月17-19日（星期五,六,日）再次主办夏日野营漂流. 请大家到俱乐部的网站活动http://www.pceclub.org 查询。
九月的教育研討會 – 为新学年准备
第四屆華人子女教育研討會将于2007年９月８日召開
主题：　“肯定自我—如何培養孩子健康的心理素質”
　　弗吉尼亞槍擊案震撼了多少亞裔家庭﹖ 留給每個家長多少思考﹖
由父母子女教育俱樂部和多維時報聯合舉辦的第四屆華人子女教育研討會將著重探討該槍擊案後我們該如何“肯定自我--培養孩子健康的心理素質”，讓這種悲劇不再發生，讓生活在美國的華人孩子們的心靈健康自由地成長﹗
亞裔通常被认为是模範的少數族裔。然而在模範之外，尤其是我們生活在兩種文化夾縫中的孩子們，有多少人注意到他们所承受的壓力？他們的父母也许正在為全家老小的基本生存奔波，沒有時間給他们更多的關懷和呵護，而使他们缺乏安全感；作為“少數民族”，常常还可能会受到歧視，又有多少人會注意到他们的悲憤，無奈，致使他们的安全感更加受挫？有些父母過於嚴厲的家教，可能讓孩子拿到了無數個“A”，卻沒有留給他抒發情緒的空間，也沒有送給他通過溝通解決問題的工具；特別是亞裔人群對心理健康的認知的“落後”和“無知”，對看心理醫生的歧視和誤解，堵塞了孩子們在生活中出現困惑尋求幫助的通道。在這種情況下，我們該怎麼辦？該如何讓孩子從困惑和壓力中釋放出來？
一旦发现异常，父母們該如何调整心态？尋求幫助？讓孩子也讓這个家庭從困惑和壓力中解套出來。如何幫助孩子們肯定自己是本次大会的主题。
　　請來參加９月８日的父母子女教育研討會，聽聽專家的开導，也聽聽孩子們的心声，說說你的苦惱，幫助其他人解開困擾。研討會内容有：Keynote Speech （由Rutgers 的王益平教授主讲），Fishbowl Forum 以及 Panel Discussion. 在接下来的几周，我们将陆续介绍主讲者及其他参与者的背景，大会的内容等有关情况。
本次年會除了９月８日當天的研討會外，同時還舉辦征文活動。本次征文活動分成人組和青少年組兩個部份，分別設一、二、三等獎和參與獎。並在年會上予以頒獎和表彰。成人組要求字數在２５００字以內。青少年組字數要求在１０００字以內。內容分別圍繞家長培養孩子健康心理的故事、經驗和心得，以及孩子對父母的期望、要求，和自己內心的苦悶。成人組要求中文來稿，青少年組中英文皆可。來稿將選擇一部分登在多維時報教育版。
有关征文活動，请联系：牛新莉 732-287-8066。
第四屆華人子女教育研討會筹备委员会成员：
Jenny Zhu at 908-252-2378, email: jenny.x.zhu@gmail.com
Chengwen Wang at 732-829-3425, email: chengwen@rutgers.edu
Cindy Yu at 732-423-3130, email: cindyxyu@gmail.com
Yingting Zhang at 732-548-7731 email: yingting_z@yahoo.com
Linda Niu at 732-309-1804, email: lindaniu@yahoo.com
James Gao at 908-938-2025 email: james.gao@comcast.net
Dennis Wu at 732-238-0576 email: dcwu@att.com
Wei Tang, email: wtang88@yahoo.com
Cathay Wang, email: cathaywang@yahoo.com

Dear Friends,

We are all safely back from another wounderful outingthis past weekend. Not meant to make you feel jealous for those who missed the trip, the trip was so exciting and fulfilling, but of course also exhausting (good for weight control though :-)) The kids were having extremely fun time together: laughing, running, water fighting at rafting and roasting marshmallow atthe campfire etc...

Although we had some heavy rain on Friday evening, the weather at Kittatinny over the weekend was on the whole very favorable, especially compared to that inNew Jersey. To camp in rain was actually another very memorable event in our life, after all how many people would choose to camp in rain? But we made it. The very next day, mother nature really did us a big favor by showing us a great sunny day. Given the rain on Friday and today (Monday), we were really blessed to have two great days there on both Saturday and Sunday. Rafting on Saturday was much easier than it was last year when the water level was low with many very shallow rapids. This year it took us at least 1 hour fewer to finish the 7-mile trip of the white water rafting. The boats were not caught among the rocks as much as it used to be. However, the kids had the same amount of fun with water fighting even though they were advised not to shoot water to people to avoid coldness as the temporature was not that high.

The food was definitely superb. With all kinds of dishes prepared by the different families, we practically had one feast after another. The calories we shed off during rafting were all regained :-) While we had so much fun, we should not forget to say"thank you" to those who helped to make the trip successful. James spent tremendous time and effort planning and booking the trip and negotiating for better deals with the business manager. Thank you very much, James, for your great effort and time. As Chengwen mentioned, Dennis' unselfish contributionsto this trip is also much appreciated. Tallying the fees and depositing and sometimes refunding the money can be very soul destroying. A big "Thank you" to Jenny and Maggie for leading the work of food preparation and many others who helped to make the food, buy the items needed, etc. I did not realize that Chengwen was such a good cook. He was our BBQ master, together with several other men whose names I couldn't recall. Many thanks to Maggie, Cindy and Simon for the tedious accounting work to caculate the expenses on food and other needed items. Simon's timely creation of the electronic registration form was very helpful for the registrants. Thanks for your expertise and prompt help. Without the help of Chengwen, James Bao, Howard, several others with setting up the tents, our fun time would be much less. Helping with one another was really the key to having a successful group activity. I was forunate to have a chance to have conversations with Lois and Claire, both at 15. They opened a window for me to see the world of today's young people. That world is definitely different from ours but very colorful, exciting and promising, and also challenging. Thank you, Lois and Claire for your willingness to share with me your thoughts and goals...

When I first started this message, I just wanted to express my grattitude for another great outing. By no means did I mean to write that long. Sorry about that, if I made you bored.

Yingting

Dear Clubbers,

We had 26 families which close to 100 people joined in the picnic. Weather was great and food were plenty. I would like to thanks Sandra and Xinyu for their help in secure a couple of tables under the shade. Along with Angela's help, registration table was setup with display of plenty of parenting books to share. With great help from Chengwen and his family, we had all needed supply and pizza before noontime. Food were fill out over two tables length. Picnic was proceed as plan. After lunch, parents were gathering around Rebecca who was our guest of hornor to hear her experience on teaching Chinese at home. [need some details here] Due to limited time, she had to leave early but was volt for her help to anyone who would like to discuss the problem for kids in learning Chinese. When Rebecca is avalable, PCE Club will invite her back to give more indept h solutions.

Eveyone enjoyed this wonderful outdoor event and the picnic was ended promptly at 3:00.


thanks,

Dennis Wu

父母子女教育俱乐部成功举办了第四十六次活动
父母子女教育俱乐部6月9日在亚洲文化中心举办了其四十六期活动. 本期的活动还是从大家都喜爱的孩子才艺表演开始．孩子们踊跃地在舞台上弹钢琴,唱歌,讲故事, 给观众带来欢声笑语. 本次活动的专题主讲是由华尔街著名人才咨询公司的副总裁甘博士介绍怎样让您或您孩子在华尔街找到理想的工作. 甘博士重点讲述了华尔街喜欢什么样的人才以及选择怎样的专业和学校以便今后进入华尔街. 他还讲解了在面试中的一些重点技巧. 活动在热烈的问答中结束.
父母子女教育俱乐部是一个非盈利组织，致力于向父母子女提供培养情商及智商交流和学习的平台。欲了解更多有关俱乐部的信息，请参阅俱乐部网站. http://www.pceclub.org/. (Lily Wang)

父母子女教育俱乐部成功举办了第四十六次活动
父母子女教育俱乐部6月9日在亚洲文化中心举办了其四十六期活动. 本期的活动还是从大家都喜爱的孩子才艺表演开始．孩子们踊跃地在舞台上弹钢琴,唱歌,讲故事, 给观众带来欢声笑语. 本次活动的专题主讲是由华尔街著名人才咨询公司的副总裁甘博士介绍怎样让您或您孩子在华尔街找到理想的工作. 甘博士重点讲述了华尔街喜欢什么样的人才以及选择怎样的专业和学校以便今后进入华尔街. 他还讲解了在面试中的一些重点技巧. 活动在热烈的问答中结束.
父母子女教育俱乐部是一个非盈利组织，致力于向父母子女提供培养情商及智商交流和学习的平台。欲了解更多有关俱乐部的信息，请参阅俱乐部网站. http://www.pceclub.org/. (Lily Wang)

人人都可以作领袖人物, 只需把它从你的内心带出
- 父母子女教育俱乐部举办第四十五期活动

父母子女教育俱乐部于五月十二日晚在亚洲文化中心举行了第四十五期活动。 由俱乐部会长俞心怡主持孩子们的才艺表演, 董事王哲主持以”怎样把孩子培养成领袖人物”为主题的专题讨论讲座, 和方桐博士提供了摄影.
这次才艺表演, 俱乐部的家长们目睹了几位新的小天才. 他们天真烂漫和优异的表演给大家带来了阵阵欢笑和掌声. 小朋友Aaron朱和Stephanie 方是这个晚上的小明星. 招老师的娱乐课让孩子们开心, 大人们专心.
大人专题讨论, 由of Masterful Kids LLC的总裁Robin Schafer女士主讲. Schafer女士给大家讲解了九条原则: 第一, 要有赢的精神. 第二, 决定目标在哪里. 第三, 采取行动. 第四, 要有毅力. 第五, 坚持不懈. 第六, 不要害怕. 第七, 鼓励别人. 第八, 要有责任感. 第九, 遇到困难不能灰心. 只要大家作到这九点, 我们都是领袖了, 都会家庭事业有成 ! Schafer女士讲的内容都很实用, 容易让大家结合教育孩子的实际情况. 演讲和问答之后, 大家还是意犹未尽。一个夜晚很快过去了.

父母子女教育俱乐部是一个非盈利组织，致力于向父母子女提供培养情商及智商交流和学习的平台。欲了解更多有关俱乐部的信息，请参阅俱乐部网站. www.pceclub.org. (Cindy Yu)

大学入学准备及费用的筹备策略和实行计划
- 记父母子女教育俱乐部举办第四十四期活动

正值今年的大学新生录取完毕之际, 父母子女教育俱乐部于四月十四日晚在亚洲文化中心举行了第四十四期活动。 由俱乐部董事唐伟主持展开了一场以大学入学准备为主题的专题讨论讲座。讲座的第一部分为大学费用的筹备策略和实行计划, 由MassMutual 的资深财务顾问Jenny Zhu女士主讲。她首先分析了为什么做为家长从现在开始就需要考虑子女的大学教育费用筹备, 如何来发展子女大学费用储蓄计划,及如何开始计划储蓄计划。然后Jenny从省税的角度例举分析了各类教育费用储蓄计划的利弊并详细解答了大家的众多问题。讲座的第二部分为大学入学申请的趋势,程序及成功实例分析, 分别由Apex Ivy Consulting 总裁张晨先生主讲。他首先介绍了目前大学入学趋势以及其对亚裔学生的影响. 随后他详细介绍了大学入学录取程序和美国顶尖大学的办学理念及学校如何将其办学理念融入对入学申请者的筛选标准中。不同的大学有着不同的办学理念, 其录取标准也会截然不同。接着张晨以实例来分析了针对不同大学如何准备应试的方法, 包括Early action 和 Early decision 的利弊. 正是以他丰厚的实践经验, 他所提供咨询服务的学生获得了50% 以上的顶尖大学入学率。他的演讲切切实实吸引了在座的各位家长, 以至于演讲延长了一个小时, 大家还是意犹未尽。

父母子女教育俱乐部是一个非盈利组织，致力于向父母子女提供培养情商及智商交流和学习的平台。欲了解更多有关俱乐部的信息，请参阅俱乐部网站http://www.pceclub.org/.

Dear Clubbers and Friends,

The PCE Club held its 43rd monthly event on March 9,2007 in the Asian Cultural Center. It was originally planned as a session on child development from a pediatric psychologist' s perspestive. However, due to the speaker's unexpected schedule change, it was then changed into a session focused on discussion of several parenting books. Organizers of this event included Sandra Liu, Dennis Wu, Angela Qiu, Cindy Yu and Yingting Zhang. A special thank you goes to XiaoZhou and her mom who brought toys for all the children who performed. Also thank you to many other helpers who made this event run smoothly.

Followed our usual kids performance was the parenting book discussion which started with a video show of John Drescher's talk on his book "When Your Child Is 6to 12". This book on middle childhood was recommendedby Dennis Wu. Age 6 to 12 is a middle childhood thatis often neglected. Drescher pointed out that this is the last great chance to get close to your child. Here are the outlines:
Last chance to Hold Them Close
Last chance to Spend Time With Our Children (LOVE = T-I-M-E)
Last chance to Instill Values
Last chance to Read To Your Children
Last great time to Feeling
Last chance to Teach The Fact Of Sex
Last good time to Discuss on Vocations

"The Hurried Child", as I recommended before on the yahoo list, was first introduced to me by a teacher in my son's school. It was written by Dr. David Elkind who depicted that parents have pushed their children too far, too much both emotionally and intellectually. Each child has his or her own pace of development. We should nurture them in a way that is best for their growing, learning and maturing... There were several for-and-against opinions on this book posted previously on the club's online forum. Please refer to the list for the related discussion.

"Your Child's Growing Mind: Brain Development and Learning From Birth to Adolescence" by Jane Healy "is a window into the fascinating process of brain development and learning" (in Angela's words). Thank Angela for sharing this wonderful book with us. She read a few paragraphs to the audience. The book has been often picked as a must-read for college students who are majoring in education. Below is a paragraph from the book which is one of the main messages from the author:

"It is possible to force skills by intensive instruction, but this may cause the child to use immature, inappropriate neural networks and distortthe natural growth process. Trying to speed learning over unfinished neuron system might be some what akin to racing a limousine over a narrow path in the woods. You can do it, but neither the car no the path end up in very good shape!"

The PCE Club will hold its 44th event on Saturday evening, April 14, 2007 on How to Make Financial Plans for Your Kid's College Education and Tips on CollegeApplications/ Admissions. More information will be posted. To learn more about PCE Club, please feel free to sign up for the free emailing list athttp://us.f506.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=joinpceclub%40pceclub.org. Or visit us at our website www.pceclub. org or http://groups.%20yahoo.com/%20group/pce_%20club/

Thank you,

Yingting Zhang
On behalf of PCE Club Organizers

父母子女教育俱乐 部 第 四 十 二 期 活 动 介绍
父母子女教育俱乐 部 于 今年 二月 十 日 又 一次 成功 举办 了 儿童 表 演 与 家长 交流 活动 。俱乐部 有 幸 邀请了美国慈济基金会新泽西分会的慈少会员们及辅导老师来给我们介绍这个团体的各种的活动。“慈少”（全称：慈济青少年团）的辅导老师 Joy Zhao 首先向家长们介绍了以“关怀社会，尊重生命” 为精神的慈济基金会。接着又向大家展示了慈少会员们参与的各种社会服务活动。其中包括志愿服务于老人院，盲人图书馆，残障人机构以及走入社会的健康夏令营。慈少的会员们也分享了他们在慈少志愿团成长的心得和在服务社区中的体会。年青的会员们最后为全体表演了手语歌曲。真心希望愿把自己的孩子培养为有爱心和感恩心的家长们一起行动起来，服务人群，回馈社会。慈济的网址为http://nj.us.tzuchi.org
父母子女教育俱乐 部 将于三 月 十 日举 办 第 43期 活动 。 有关 详 情 ，请关注 近期 报纸 或 查 阅 www.pceclub.org. (Yixin Zhang)

Parents and Children Education Association Online Press Release January 20, 2007

PCE Club jumpstarted the year of 2007 with its 41st monthly event. This marked another success for sharing and improving parenting skills with the participation of more than 50 club parents and their children. The event participants had the opportunity to enjoy the performance of the children and the insights from our panel discussions.
The PCE Club is a non-profit, non-religious and non-political educational organization. Its mission is to provide learning and sharing platforms to parents and children for their emotional intelligence development and their intercommunication improvement. This January event was held at PCE's regular site at the Asian Cultural Center, Edison, NJ. Dennis Wu (Club's Treasure), Angela Chiu (Club's Online Forum leader) and Cindy Yu (Club's President) organized the event. As usual, the night was broken down into two consecutive sessions: Children Talent Performance and Education/Sharing Seminar with children programs.
Children Talent Performance session was hosted by Cindy Yu. On this event, the clubbers had the opportunity to listen to a very talented 4-year old storyteller. Everyone, children or parents alike, was so attracted into her story and performance that you can hardly notice anything else existed. She's truly talented. We also had other 1st time comers to showcase their wonderful piano performance and singing.
After the talent performance, PCE Club Teacher Zhao gathered the children to upstairs for a fun-filled night while the parents got started on the parenting teaching and discussing sessions hosted and organized by Angela Chiu. Tonight's subject is:
Coaching and Training Children's Behavior - Beyond Bribes and Threats:
Alternatives to Controlling Children's Behavior
Dr. Angela Chiu first introduced the 5 panelists: Ms. Sandra Liu, Dr. Bonnie Liu, Ms. Yingting Zhang, Dr. Lewei Shang, and Mr. Sin-Kie Tjho.
Angela's open remarks promoted the purpose of the behavior training is to have a happy, competent and responsive child. As parents, we are confident that we all can parent well and should be with the mindset that we can all learn to be better at it. We should view parenting as gardening with most time to observe and understand and seize the opportunity to prune/fertilize using reward/discipline.
Angela then asked the panelists with questionnaires:
1) A good understanding of our children's temperament and development stages and our own temperament builds a good foundation for effective behavior training. What are the main temperament traits? (Sandra)
2) What are the main types of rewards and how effective are they? (Bonnie)
3) How to make a praise or criticism constructive? (Yingting)
4) What are the main types of disciplines and how effective are they? (Lewei)
5) Please share your general philosophy and experiences in behavior coaching and management (Sin-Kie)
Sandra vividly told the story of her experience as a mother in dealing with her older daughter’s selective mutism from age 2 to 4. It was a gradual process for her to understand and accept it. Sandra then involved everyone around her daughter's life to help her. It was a touching story about a mother's love to help her daughter coming out of shadow of fear of speaking in school.
Bonnie in her usual scholarly way talked about rewards types to children. She talked about outer and inner rewards. Outer rewards include material stimulation and emotional/social reward. Inner rewards are the motivation and self-fulfillments. She promoted inner motivation to sustain good behavior. Self-esteem, a true mirror, knowing one's strength and weakness, comes from competence, it's not the same as feeling good. There is no need to shied kids away from disappointment and frustration.
Yingting shared her stories and experience for parents to build self-awareness. She thinks the parents' behavior directly impact the kids'. Setting up the right role model for the kids are parents' responsibilities. She shared many useful tips on making praise/criticism constructive, enlightened by the book “Mindset”. We should separate the person from the behavior when we praise and criticize and the consequences need to be directly related to the behavior.
Lewei feels self-awareness and self-criticism as well as criticism are very important to mode the right behavior of the kids. As parents, we need to help our children to understand their true self. So the parents are to help balancing the emotions of the kids by either pushing or pulling depending on the needs of the situation.
Sin-Kie described to the audience his family system, which composites healthy development of ethics, intellects and physical abilities. The temperament of a child reflects not only his/her own genetic inclination, but also the subtle and not so subtle influence of the environment he/she is subjected to, especially the family setting where the combined as well as individual temperaments of his/her parents exert a powerful influence on the psychic of our children, and which by itself is an another very complicated dynamic system that could not be easily modified for the benefit of our children. Once we can truly appreciate all inner working and inter-locking forces that shape the behaviors our children, we would be in a much better position to formulate a more realistic and more effective strategies for managing and coaching/training their behaviors. A well constructed family system would enable children to understand what they are expected to behave and perform and their responsibilities as family members, as well as how a family can function as a cooperative unit.
The parents in the audience exhibited great interests in the conversation with questions about how to deal with their own children's behaviors in the parenting discussion. After their fun class, the children were all proudly showing their parents the paper-flowers they made with Teacher Zhao. (Angela Chiu)

艺术是孩子成长的摇篮
--- 父母子女教育俱乐部成功举办了第三十九次活动

父母子女教育俱乐部于十一月十八日在亚洲文化中心成功举办了第三十九次活动，这是一次别开生面的专题讨论会，主题为“与莎伦画院老师谈孩子学画以及美术在孩子成长中的作用”。新州著名的莎伦画院老师（刘莎伦老师和左萍老师）在百忙中抽出时间来和我们分享孩子学画的特点及她们多年美术教育过程中获得的心得体会和经验。

二十几位家长与两位老师近距离交谈问答互动，场面充满温馨诚挚的气氛。对家长们提出的许多问题，刘老师与左老师都一一给与回答。两位老师都认为培养孩子对画画的兴趣，家长起很大的作用。家长要让孩子觉得画画是一件很开心的事情，是玩，而不是一件苦差事。正如刘老师提到的，画画的主要目的是为了表达，而感觉是表达的关键。孩子在学画画的基本功时，感觉一定要跟上。老师也会对学生重复不厌的强调这些基本的地方。时间久了，老师与学生之间达成了一种默契。即使老师稍微一指点，学生就明白其意思。与学弹钢琴一样，学画画也要化4-5 年学生才能掌握好基本功，能自由地表达自己的创作。刘老师还特别指出每个孩子学画的进度不一样。不管怎么样，只要他们坚持，都会达到一个爆发点。这个爆发点非常重要。一旦达到了，将会是个飞越。这对学生的其他方面乃至整个人生都会有很大的影响。两位老师独到的见解，深厚的美术功底以及丰富的教学经验得到了与会者的赞赏。有几位家长一直到讨论会结束后还不忍离去。

俱乐部将于十二月九日举办家庭欢乐夜庆祝活动。请关注下周更详细的通知。活动时间：2006年12月9日，星期六，6:30-10:00 pm; 地点： Asian Cultural Center，1876 Rt. 27, Edison, NJ, 08817。报名费：会员免费，非会员每家$10。欢迎大家报名参加。有兴趣者可在网上注册 〈http://www.pceclub.org/portal/eventRegister.php?EventId=40〉或电邮至registration@pceclub.org。 电话联系: Tiffany Chen：xxx-xxx-xxxx。欲了解更多有关俱乐部的信息，请参阅俱乐部网站www.pceclub.org 或注册我们的免费通讯录（电邮至joinpceclub@pceclub.org）. （张颖婷）

艺术是孩子成长的摇篮
--- 父母子女教育俱乐部将举办第三十九次活动

父母子女教育俱乐部将于十一月十八日在亚洲文化中心举办第三十九次活动，由于场地与其他活动时间冲突，这次活动由原来的第二个周六改到第三个周六，即十八日晚上。下个月起将改回第二个周六，特此通告。

这次活动将是一次专题讨论会，主题为“艺术在孩子成长中的作用”。俱乐部有幸请到了新州著名的莎伦画院老师（刘莎伦老师和左萍老师）、学生及其家长来和我们大家分享孩子学画过程中的心得体会。

孩子艺术修养的培养是素质教育的一部分。艺术可以让孩子学会从不同的角度来认识世界，来看待周围的事物。艺术也让孩子学会如何表达一些无法用言语表达的东西。艺术有很多不同的种类，如音乐，美术，舞蹈等，不同的艺术带给人们不同的感受和影响。艺术可以陶冶情操，可以使人与群体更加融洽。几个月前我们俱乐部举办了有关孩子学琴的活动。这次我们则以美术为主体，探讨孩子学画有哪些特点，学画对孩子成长有什么影响，如何通过美术来发展孩子的观察力和艺术想象力？家长如何正确引导孩子的兴趣等等。我们希望通过这一系列的对艺术修养的讨论活动，作为家长我们会更加懂得采用正确的心态来对待孩子的艺术修养的培养。

俱乐部的这次活动跟以往一样，仍将从儿童才艺表演开始。欲表演者，请从速报名。 活动时间：2006年11月18日，星期六，6:30-9:30 pm; 地点： Asian Cultural Center，1876 Rt. 27, Edison, NJ, 08817。报名费：会员免费，非会员每家$10。欢迎大家报名参加。有兴趣者可在网上注册 〈http://www.pceclub.org/portal/eventRegister.php?EventId=39〉或电邮至registration@pceclub.org。 电话联系: 张颖婷：732-548-7731。欲了解更多有关俱乐部的信息，请参阅俱乐部网站www.pceclub.org 或注册我们的免费通讯录（电邮至joinpceclub@pceclub.org）. （张颖婷）

父母子女教育俱乐部成功举办了第三十八次活动

十月十四日晚上，父母子女俱乐部在亚洲文化中心如期举行第三十八次活动。这次活动由Dennis Wu和俞心怡组织.向往常一样, 这次晚会是由孩子们的精彩才艺表演开始的.

在第三次俱乐部年会上, 到会的父母们极度热情地聆听和探讨了培养教育高情商孩子. 第三十八次活动上, 没有机会参加上次讨论的, 和没有机会完成讨论的俱乐部成员有机会在屏幕上次聆听著名的心理学家演讲人 DR. STEVEN TOBIAS的讲话. 廖冰博士对情商教育的深刻见解给大家的讨论带来了新的内容. 为了帮助父母来衡量家庭成员的情商, 大家还探讨了DR. STEVEN TOBIAS的EMONTIONAL INTELLIGENT PARENTING书里列出了一系列的问题. 这些问题不止包括针对孩子们的, 还有针对父母的. 父母能够认识到自己的情商程度是帮助孩子成长的关键之一. 各位如有兴趣找到这些问题者请到父母子女教育俱乐部的网站查询.

另外, 父母子女教育俱乐部正在征集老师和专家为父母和孩子办更精彩的情商培训.有意者, 请跟我们联系.

父母子女教育俱乐部将在2006年11月18日举办第三十九期活动.时间：2006年11月18日6:30-9:30 pm. 地点：Asian Cultural Enterprises Center，1876 Rt. 27, Edison, NJ, 08817。欢迎大家报名参加。有兴趣者可电邮至registration@pceclub.org, 或电话联系: 张颖婷：732-548-7731。欲了解更多有关俱乐部的信息，请参阅俱乐部网站www.pceclub.org 或注册我们的免费通讯录可电邮joinpceclub@pceclub.org. (俞心怡供稿)

Report on the Keynote Speech on EQ Parenting by Dr. Tobias at CAP2006
(by Yingting Zhang)

Dear Clubbers and Friends,

It has been nearly a month since the 3rd annual Conference of Chinese-American Parenting Practices (CAP2006) took place on Sept 9, 2006 in the Clarion Hotel in Edison, NJ. Many of us who attended the conference must still remember the very informative and educational keynote speech delivered by Dr. Steven Tobias, who coauthored the widely acclaimed book "Emotionally Intelligent Parenting: How to Raise a Self-Disciplined, Responsible, Socially Skilled Child." I meant to write this report much sooner; however, during the last few weeks, I was terribly busy both at work and home. Here finally is the report of Dr. Tobias' keynote speech based on my notes.

Emotional intelligence is the cornerstone of all the learnings. However, high EQ is now made hard to achieve by three major factors: a) the breakdown of traditional family values and community support mechanisms; b) demands of modern society; and c) unintended use of technology. Children nowadays tend to be less socially skilled due to the fact that they lack unstructured extracurricular activities. Those unstructured free playings are actually good in developing children's problem-solving skills. Computers are often overused as an intermediary. Meaningful social interactions are thus lost through computers. Fortunately, emotional and social skills can be learned. Some children are in fact socially and emotionally gifted. It is up to the parents to be aware of their children's development.

Dr. Tobias pointed out 5 goals of emotional intelligence:

1. Be aware of one's own feelings and those of others. Three kinds of feelings are often confused by many people: anger, frustration and disappointment. Differentiating these three feelings is very important. Anger comes from hurt. It's a secondary emotion. Some may react to this feeling by hurting others. With frustration, one can either keep trying, or take a break, or seek help. Disappointment means you do not get what you wanted. As parents, we need to teach our kids how to differentiate these 3 feelings. Of course other feelings are crucial too.

2. Show empathy and understand others' point of view. Remember children have a tremendous capacity for empathy. It requires us to read non-verbal cues to teach children how to empathize.

3. Regulate and cope positively with emotional and behavioral impulses. This is about self control. The ability to wait is important. "The longer you wait, the more you get." said Dr. Tobias. With the delay of gratification, you appreciate more what you wanted.

4. Be positive goal and plan oriented.

5. Use positive social skills in handling relationships. Teach kids how to accept criticism.

Dr. Tobias also introduced to the audience a model for facilitating emotional intelligence and social problem solving called FIG TESPN which stands for:

F-Feelings cue me to problem solve.
I-I have to take responsibility for problem solving.
G-Goals give me a guide.

T-Think of things to do.
E-Envision outcomes for each option.
S-Select my starting solution.
P-Plan, anticipate pitfalls, practice, and pursue it.
N-Notice what happened and now what?

Parents should use this model to coach children in responsible action.

In one of his two handout sheets is a list of positive and negative feelings that parents usually display towards their children. This is an extract from the book "Raising Emotionally Intelligent Teenagers" written by Dr. Tobias and his two partners, Dr. Maurice J. Elias and Dr. Brian S. Friedlander. The listed feelings are: Love, Pride, Fun, Compassion, Respect, Understanding, Interest, Anger, Disappointment, Frustration, Annoyance, Embarrassment, Anxiety and Withdrawal. The authors listed the positive feelings first as many people tend to forget about them. In the authors' words: "What is the balance between positive and negative feelings you show - not what you feel, but what you show? Remember, our children only know what we show them. Most parent find they need to put more emphasis on showing more of the positive feelings, because the negatives seem to come out fairly easily. The key for our children is balance. So put your focus on the positives and don't worry so much about decreasing the negatives at the moment. The latter is hard for most parents. You can re-balance through positives."

Among all the negative feelings the one parents show most often towards their children is ANXIETY. All the other negatives are originated from this feeling. We worry about our children too much - about their health, schooling, future, etc. Being aware of this is important for both parents and children so that we both cope with and differentiate the negative feelings better.

At the end of the speech were questions and answers. Questions raised by the audience include, but are not limited to, the following:

Q. Is ADD biological or rather social-oriented?
A. ADD is measured by degree. Kids in the middle section are more environmentally sensitive. Why are more kids diagnosed with ADD now? Because there are more demands of the children. Sleep deprivation could also be the cause of ADD.

Q. How to make kids accept unsuccessful result?
A. Validate their feelings first and help them find a way to improve.

Q. How to make kids stick to their own goals?
A. Work first and play later. When planning, take obstacle into consideration.

Q. What is the correlation between IQ and EQ?
A. Only about 20%. IQ cannot be taught; while EQ can.

Q. Is it a good idea to use money allowance?
A. Material reinforcement is often weak. Try to use social reinforcement instead. Let the kids know that doing things for others often makes you feel good. However if the money allowance is used to teach kids money management, that can be acceptable.

Dr. Tobias' keynote speech was superbly delivered and greatly welcomed by the audience. Hope this report will help those friends who were not able to attend the conference to be informed of this very educational presentation.

FYI, the PCE Club's monthly event in October 2006 will be a discussion forum on Dr Tobias' EQ Parenting speech. More information will be posted. Please stay tuned.

Respectfully submitted by

Yingting Zhang

On behalf of all the PCE Club's organizers

父母教育子女 愛勝於一切情商教育心理學家新州開講 深入淺出引起共鳴 「實話實說」座談 令家長省思 　【本報記者劉美玲新澤西報導】

http://www.worldjournal.com/wj-nj-news.php?nt_seq_id=1416455


　父母子女教育俱樂部會長俞\心怡(左五)及前會長張穎婷(右二)、高靖波(左一)，感謝主講人托必亞(右四)演說，廖冰(右一)也是研討會講座主持人之一。(本報記者劉美玲攝)

【本報記者劉美玲新澤西報導】由新州父母子女教育俱樂部主辦的「第三屆父母子女教育研討大會」，日前在新州中部愛迪生市客來瑞安大酒店(Clarion Hotel & Towers)舉行，與會主講的家庭心理學家建議家長們以正面的愛、榮耀、樂趣、真誠及尊重的態度教育子女，盡量不用負面的生氣、失望、困窘等的態度管教，引起全場共鳴。

今年該研討會以「培養一個高情商的孩子」為主題，邀請著作「情商子女教育」(Emotional In-telligent Parenting)作者之一的心理學家托必亞(Steven Tobias)專題演講。
托必亞指出，有些孩子調皮又搗蛋，連他作為家庭心理專家，身為父母也很難不對自己的孩子生氣。不過他指出，家長對子女的愛應該戰勝一切，教育子女以愛為出發，用以子女為榮、有趣、真誠及尊重的正面態度教育子女非常重要。

他並表示，子女對生活態度的學習來自父母，父母教子女的身體語言、目光對視，也會影響子女的態度，例如孩子考試成績不佳，與其怒氣沖沖地問孩子：「你怎會考得那麼糟？」不如心平氣和地問：「這種成績是怎麼發生的？」托必亞說，沒有人每次考試都考一百分，家長應該從小讓孩子了解不負責的後果為何，教育孩子「負責任」的態度。也有家長在演說後以個人案例提問，孩子愛哭鬧、說都說不得，也有人問孩子當眾哭鬧怎麼處理。托必亞說，孩子哭鬧表示他正在生氣，不是家長試圖教育的最好時間，不妨等孩子心情平靜後再溝通。

另外他也建議家長，一般人評價家長，不是根據孩子在公共場所的態度，而是家長對待子女的態度，因此萬一孩子當眾鬧脾氣，沮喪的家長當眾惡言怒斥或修理，根本無濟於事，不妨嘗試轉換心情後，再與孩子溝通。

當天王薛紅主持第二代子弟「實話實說」座談，邀請9至22歲的華裔學生賈伯遠、荀迅、張洋、Jane Zhao、趙儀安與會討論「情商」(EQ)。就讀橋水／拉瑞騰高中12年級的荀迅認為，如前總統柯林頓等政治人物都有高情商；就讀費城Lower Merion High School 12年級的張洋則認為，政治人物不一定具有高情商，但高情商者均具有領袖特質，參與討論的孩子們見解都很成熟，討論也很熱烈。
此外，研討會也舉辦了數項專題討論會，由劉向群主持「如何克服文化障礙來面對孩子的特殊需要」座談、廖冰講述「怎樣成為孩子的情感教練」、印裔律師辛恩(Seema Singh)談「多元文化與情商教育」、翟寶建領講「情商與領導能力的培養」，均吸引許多關切子女教育的家長們加入討論。

2006-09-15

Report on PCE Club's 36th Event - "Rafting and Camping"

Dear Clubbers and friends,

PCE club just successfully organized its 36th event, the annual outdoor rafting and camping trip at Barryville, New York. More than 70 people participated in the rafting trip and almost 20 families joined the camping overnight. It was an unforgettable experience for all of us who joined the trip and excellent opportunity for us to meet with old club buddies and make new friends.

The rafting trip was a 7 mile trip at Kittatiny. The members split into 12 rafts and started the fun-filled trip around 12PM. The trip started with calm water, where people could practice paddling, coordinating among group members sitting on the different side tokeep the pace and direction of the raft. Soon the fun began when members eagerly pulled out the 'powerful weapons' that they had prepared for the trip: all kinds and all sizes ofwater guns. Whenever 2 rafts getting close to each other, members on board 'fire' the full-loaded water guns vehemently, and those without the water guns used buckets, cups, paddles. Everybody was wiping off the water on the face, busy reloading the water gun or buckets, firing back dauntlessly, and screaming inexcitement, what a bustling scene. Not only did the kids enjoy it, even the grown-ups felt like getting back to their good old golden days again.

Comparing to the rafting trip that the club organized 2 years ago, this year’s water level was relatively shallow. This brought more rapids to the trip, however, for a lot of times, the water level is less than 2 feet, and very easy for the raft to get stuck in the rocks on the bottom of the river bed. So instead of just paddling the raft in the smooth water, members on every raft had to think of different ways to get the raft out of the stranded condition, and keep the raft moving. The usual 3.5 hours rafting trip took us almost 5 hours to finish. It was a challenging trip, yet it promotes the sports spirit and team work. The next part is the camping. As soon as the members got to the Kittatiny camp ground, each family startedto set up the tents. Although quite a few families arefirst time campers, with the help from other moreexperienced camping families, almost all the tents gotset up within hour an hour. The BBQ dinner was a very sumptuous and delicious one, a perfect combination oftraditional BBQ and the authentic Chinese cuisine. Members brought grills, stoves, rice cookers, and alot of cooking utensils to cook, and each family brought a few cold dishes to share with other members. While adults started to play poker and chat after dinner, kids were running around, roasting the marshmallow, hanging out with new friends, watching DVDs or just having fun getting in and out of thedifferent tents. The night passed by so quickly even without notice. The second day, some of the families played paintball, and some just did some hiking, enjoyed some peaceful moments with friends and family members at the beautiful and quiet country side. In the end, a lot of thanks goes to organizers of this event. Thanks to James for putting this event together, organizing 3 conference calls to plan theevent, and coordinated each and every detail of the event; thanks to Jenny who coordinated the BBQ preparation; thanks to Bei and Dawei who helped a lot in preparing the meals and sorting out the accounting and payments for the foods; thanks to Ge Hong andYingting for taking up the leadership of rafting trip while James is late due to unexpected traffic delay; thanks to Dennis who took care all the registration and accounting issues for the event; thanks to Linda Niu for taking care of the Chinese summary of the event and publicize on Duowei; thanks to Shi Xiaojie and Shi Hong for helping on the camping and BBQ and unreserved sharing of their camping experience; thanks Shi Xiaojie/Hong and Janney/zhu, Dawei/Bei, John Hua,Hailin/linda, Weimin, Cathay/Jian, Cathy/cindy/ david,Yingting/Hong, Danqing/Jingson, Huijuan , Jinjiang/LiHuang , Shu Lin and Yixin/Dahai took care of BBQ and camp fire, etc. We would also like to thank everybodythat participated in this event, without your help and enthusiasm, the event would never be successful and memorable!

Upcoming events: The PCE club’s CAP 2006 conference will be held on September 9, 2006 at Clarion Hotel, Edison, NJ. The theme of the CAP 2006 is “Raise an EmotionallyIntelligent Child”. CAP 2006 will extensively discuss the Children’s EQ Development in many aspects and will definitely benefit both children and parent on their personalsuccesses. It will feature expert counseling, a keynote speech, "Fish Bowl" forum, four tracks ofareas around the main theme, and a panel discussion.The conference will be offered free to the PCE Clubmembers. For more information and registration, please visit http://www.pceclub.

Cathay Zhe Wang
On Behalf of PCE Club